The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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