the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
