That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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