Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
