i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
