Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
