Betty ford says i'm here all night
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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