It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
