dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
