I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
