So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
MIDGETS
????
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
