the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
