Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
