like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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