Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
