dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
