break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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