I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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