Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
