ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
