My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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