So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
