All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
