And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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