So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
