When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
