There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
honey bunches of taint.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
