; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
