check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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