I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
