i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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