If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
