I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
