Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He better not be in your backpack
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
