I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
