***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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