Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
