I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
