So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
