Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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