So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
