I'm gonna have a badass scar
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
