He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize