You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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