I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
