Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my being single is dangerous.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
