He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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