You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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