just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
