At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
