I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
