Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
