I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
