I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dignity is for republicans.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
