I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
