it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
