nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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