How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
