How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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